My Heart is Full of Dust and Sand
by Zenaga the Sea Serpent
Summary: Currently undergoing revision.
1. Prologue

Prologue

_Rewritten on 1/3/12_

* * *

My heart is full of dust and sand.

At least, it feels that way. I remember when I could feel my heart thudding at the smallest brushing of skin against skin. I remember feeling that my cheeks were heated when the gentlest of kisses was placed upon my lips. I remember feeling how cold his skin was against mine as he touched me in places no other had before, drawing me deeper into a world of passion unfamiliar to me.

It's not like that anymore.

When his hand touches mine, I feel nothing. It's just skin, nothing more. When he kisses me, I follow the routine that we have set without feeling the emotion behind it. It's just a kiss, nothing more. When we make love, our limbs intertwined as we sprawl on the bed, I stare at the ceiling, seeing shapes in the abstract pattern. It's just sex, nothing more…

I love him. I really do.

But when I look at him, it just hurts so much.

When I look at him, he seems like such a beautiful creature, and I wonder how he found it in himself to care for me.

When I look at him, it's just hurts even more, knowing that he has betrayed me.

I suppose that I had it coming to me. That's what happens when you play Judas.

Where do I go now?

I can't tell my friends the truth. Do I even deserve to call them my friends?

Ryou is waiting for me with open arms.

I don't know how much he knows.

I don't know if he even loves me.

I don't know if I even love him.

But right now, I can't see any other way.

What follows on these pages is what has happened, leading up to this point. Maybe, when I write it all down, I'll be able to remember what my pounding heart feels like.

-Midorikawa Retasu


	2. Shadows in the Sunset

Chapter 1 - Shadows in the Sunset

_Revised on 1/3/12._

* * *

_Have you ever wanted to destroy this world, to end it entirely?_

I was once asked this question by someone who was – at one point - very dear to me. When he asked me that question, I was very surprised that such dark words could escape such a kind face. Although I had heard a question similar to it before, that moment on the pier was different. It was so cold outside, and the wind coming off the water made it even colder. His grip on my hand tightened ever so slightly as he stared out at the bay. All I could look at was his melancholy expression. Never had I seen Ryou look so deeply sad.

The truth is that I have wanted to destroy this world before. I've had that intense need to end everything and rid this planet of filth. Somehow, I think that he knew that. I don't think he knew, though, that I was actively working towards that goal. The first time that I had ever decided to act on it was from that first question, asked by another man that is dear to me. He is much colder, much more cynical. There are very few times that I have seen him smile, and those times were only when I was the only one looking.

Pai…

I truly think that he is the most beautiful creature in the Universe. When he spoke to me for the very first time, my heart was filled with such desire, yet I was terrified to go anywhere near him. He stood there at my window, the sunset shrouding his front in darkness. As he watched the blood seep from my self inflicted wound, he asked me how much I hated this world. I couldn't respond, since my voice seemed to be lost in my shock. I found him to be most magnificent as he stood there, staring at me intently.

Such a dark, mysterious person was looking at me, speaking to me… I couldn't say a thing. After we stared at each other for a while, he finally extended his hand towards mine. "Come with me." He said in a monotone voice that made me think of dark chocolate. "There's something that I want to show you." Dark chocolate with a raspberry center. I felt hesitant – _do I dare touch him?_ – thoughts of traps and danger and pain clouding my judgment. After a mere few seconds that felt like hours, I placed my hand in his.

As he helped me to my feet, I had a strange sensation of tugging as the scenery changed. We stood there hand in hand, looking out at the ocean, the sunset reflecting in the water. I gasped at the sight, not expecting it. It was so incredibly beautiful. I could stand there, staring at it forever. "Beautiful, isn't it?" That same raspberry dark chocolate voice spoke once again. I nodded. A cynical sneer curled his lips upward. "Look down." I did. I took a step backwards in shock. Garbage, rubble, trash, and all assortments of filth littered the ground to the point of making the sand vanish to the eye.

I was stunned as I looked around. The garbage was piled so high, it could've been a mountain. The blood seeping from my wrist fell onto our hands. "Have you ever wondered why we're here to take this planet?" He asked me as I looked down at my feet. _8 soda cans, 2 diapers, 15 pages of newspaper…_ I heard his tied hair brush against his shoulder as he turned to look at me. I said nothing, opting to listen to him as he turned to look back at the sea again.

"We lived here so long ago, but now this planet is dead." I suspect that he was frowning. I looked up at the sight of a shadow darkening my shoes, and I saw that he was standing right in front of me, his brow furrowed ever so slightly. He was beautiful in the sunlight too. I felt like I might melt as his violet eyes pierced mine. It felt like he was looking into my soul. And then I thought of all the nasty things he would see. I felt a tear slide down my cheek, which clearly surprised him at least a little bit, I assumed as I saw his eyebrow twitch upward.

He gently brushed back my tears, and he said, "We have to soldier on." I never thought that I would look at an alien and desire him so greatly. "Even when you feel like giving up." He wanted to lay waste to this world and rebuild it, making it a paradise – or was that what I wanted? Everything had to be destroyed. Suddenly, all I wanted was to end everything and remake it with him. I think he understood the look in my eyes, because he nodded and grasped both my hands.

I had always loved sunsets, but I loved them even more after that day.


	3. Making Decisions

__Chapter 2 - Making Decisions

_Revised on 1/3/12._

* * *

The next day started as all of my days did up until that point. I would look out the window observing the weather as I listened to kitchen noises from downstairs, my brother talking too loudly from the floor below. The only thing out of place was the note scribbled on my English Textbook, the kanji so messy that it was almost unreadable. I suppose that since he must have learned Japanese not long before he came to Earth, he must not have had much time to perfect his writing. I've always found his sloppy characters quite endearing, Pai being the brains of the enemy's operation.

No. He wasn't the enemy, not to me, at least. The other mews surely saw him as a daunting opponent, but I saw him a comrade, a wonderful man on the same mission. I know that he should have been the enemy, but yet, I couldn't help being fascinated by him. I was so intrigued by the murky air that followed him, accentuating his sharp gaze. I could still feel the coolness of his hand on my own. Gazing at my fingers, I remembered how he had held my hand so softly, an unexpected lightness to contrast his rough appearance. I then remembered the small scar that runs down the left side of his pale lips, and I blushed.

I forced myself out of bed, not looking at the note; I knew what it said. I could still hear the words rolling off his tongue in that flat, dark, yet sweet voice; _Remember, after you finish your shift at your workplace, come to Tokyo Tower. Alone._ I knew it was a bad idea to be meeting with one of the aliens alone, but I somehow felt that he wouldn't hurt me. He seemed to be gentle under that tough exterior.

I followed the usual motions of the day, eating breakfast, going to school, giving money to those horrid girls. I always wonder how I manage to smile through it all. Perhaps I was able to, simply because smiling is such a hollow concept. Yet, somehow it manages to assure people that everything is alright. False, empty.

Although I usually block out the chatter of my co-workers while we clean, I felt the need to listen that day. Perhaps all I wanted was to talk, and for them to pay attention. But, of course, they didn't. "Kisshu makes me so mad!" Ichigo growled in response to Purin asking about her day. "He is such a jerk! I mean, he showed up at my house earlier today _just_ to burst into my bathroom and turn my cactus into a Chimera Anima!" She scowls at her hand at this point. "I _still_ have splinters stuck in my hand."

"And Taruto is such a brat!" She complained, leaning against her broom. "He's always calling me and old hag and stupid things like that. What a little brat!" I glanced up to see her slam her fist into her palm, and then I resumed sweeping.

"Hey, Taru-Taru is my friend, na no da!" Purin, of course. Ichigo scoffed.

"You can't call the enemy a friend." Minto said casually. Purin then started to pout.

"Yes, you can, na no da…" She grumbled as Ichigo rolled her eyes.

"And then, there's _Pai_." She growled. I stopped sweeping. "What's his problem? Always scowling like that." Ichigo made a grimace which she seemed to think resembled Pai's usual expression.

"Ummm…" I began, feeling everyone's eyes on me. "Did you ever consider that maybe things are difficult for them…?" I said uncertainly. Ichigo and Minto frowned at me. Purin looked at her feet, her arms crossed. Zakuro continued sweeping as she had been throughout the entire conversation.

"They're just bad people." Ichigo snapped as she looked away. And, just like that, all attention that I was given had ceased. I began sweeping again. The conversation continued after that, but I paid no attention. My mind was elsewhere- wondering why I had attempted to stand up for the aliens.

I knew that it had something to do with the way that it sent shivers down my spine whenever I thought of his overpowering presence, and how much I wanted to bathe my very soul in it.

As I walked up to Tokyo Tower, the sky ceased being simply overcast, and it started to rain. I peered out from under my umbrella, scanning the area for that intimidating figure. Of course, he wasn't anywhere in sight- after all, he would stand out- so I instead sat on one of the benches near the base of the tower. I sat there for several minutes, feeling Pai's eyes burning into my back the whole time. And then, I closed my eyes, and I felt his hand touch mine.

When I opened my eyes, the scenery had changed. I was now back looking at the ocean that Pai had brought me to the day before, sitting on a bench that wasn't there before. It wasn't raining here, but I didn't want to take my hand away from his to put the umbrella away. "You're unexpectedly calm." Pai said plainly. I couldn't feel his gaze anymore. "Considering all that's happened to me, I'm not entirely surprised by things that I would otherwise find unusual." I said, looking out at the ocean, twirling the umbrella in my right hand.

At this point, the sun was just barely visible behind the mountains. It was slowly getting darker as we sat in silence. I wanted to ask him why he wanted to see me, but I didn't want to interrupt the rapid beat of my heart with words. I remember finding it odd how he would always hold my hand, since we barely knew each other at that point. Several months later, he informed me that in his culture, the touching of hands was a way to 'open a connection' with the other person. He told me that it has no romantic meaning, just a way of telling someone that you're listening.

"Midorikawa-san-" I jumped at the abruptness of his voice, turning to face him. He frowned slightly and lowered his head. "I apologize." He said quietly. I smiled the tiniest bit. "It's fine," I said. He looked up again. "Will you work with us?" I stared at him. _Yes_. I had made my decision long before he had asked me. _Yes, yes, yes._

"Yes." A small smile formed on his lips. My heart was bursting with desire as he looked into my eyes. He was so perfectly imperfect.

I love that small scar on his lips.


	4. Seven Notes

__Chapter 3 - Seven Notes

_Revised on 1/3/12._

* * *

_7 AM._

Seven notes lay untouched on my desk, repeating the last words that he spoke to me at the end of every day that I saw him. It was a Sunday when I awoke to his hand resting on my head. When I opened my eyes and looked up at him, he looked startled, and then relieved. Upon seeing him, I furrowed my brow in confusion.

"Pai-san…?" I asked hesitantly. I could see his face, but I thought that it must be a mistake, for I was not wearing my glasses.

"Good evening." He said slowly, his pronunciation a little off. I leapt up at the sound of the word 'evening'.

"Evening?" I frantically searched for my glasses on my bedside table, needing to see the time for myself. Just what time was it? When I finally got my glasses on, I grabbed the clock, examining it. _7:06 AM_.

I then started to giggle, and Pai frowned. "What's wrong?" He asked, thoroughly confused. I showed him the clock and pointed to the time.

"It's morning, Pai-san, not evening." I gently corrected as he grimaced. "You must have mixed up the words for 'good morning' and 'good evening'." I explained, causing Pai glare at his feet. I felt truly happy with him there with me. It wasn't what I had imagined when hearing people talking about waking to the face of the one you love, but I was content, nonetheless.

I realized that my nightgown was starting to slide off my left shoulder, exposing half of my breast. I quickly pushed my sleeve back up onto my shoulder, covering myself again. I then looked back to Pai, blushing slightly. "So… umm… why are you here…?" I asked slowly, brushing my hair behind my ear. I chewed on my lip slightly, frowning. My tongue felt thick and disgusting in my mouth.

He glanced over at me briefly, and then rested his forehead in his hand. "I… was anxious about you…" I felt my heart begin to beat faster as he spoke.

"You… you were…?" My face was beginning to heat up. He nodded. I couldn't help but smile as I looked down at my feet. I started to twiddle my thumbs, not sure what to say. I heard his hair brushing on his shoulder as he turned to look at me, and then I felt his weight leave the mattress as he stood up.

I lifted my gaze to watch him. I realized then that he wasn't wearing anything but a loose pair of pants, not even his hair wrapping. I looked away again, crossing my arms against my chest. "Will you meet me later this afternoon?" He asked abruptly. I looked up again. I smiled.

"When and where?"

"Tokyo tower, 4 AM."

"You mean PM. Afternoon."

"Um… yes…"

"I'll see you then, Pai-san."

"Until then… Retasu…"

And with that, he disappeared. Long after he was gone, I could still hear the echo of him saying my name.

When I was on my way to Tokyo Tower, I met Shirogane-san. I hadn't really paid much attention to him before. I had noticed that he was nice, and he was cute, but that was about all. He was pretty much just my boss. On that day, however, I noticed that he noticed me. "Retasu-san!" He called as I walked past the convenience store that he was walking out of. I turned to him and smiled. "Good afternoon, Shirogane-san." I said. Very, very formal.

He had walked at a steady pace towards me, and I wondered why he would possibly want to talk to me. "Fancy meeting you here." Shirogane-san said to me, smirking slightly.

"Yes," was all I said as I looked down at my feet, blushing. I glanced up to see him looking elsewhere, rubbing the back of his head.

"Where are you headed to?" He asked.

I immediately began to panic. Where was I going, to see my boyfriend? _Hah! As if!_ Shopping? _No, no, that's silly_. "I'm… uh… going to meet a friend." _Was that the best I could come up with?_ Shirogane-san didn't seem too bothered.

"Really? Where?" He asked, only the slightest hint of skepticism in his voice. _Stop asking me so many questions, please! You'd hate me if you knew the truth! Should I tell him? Should I not?_

"Um… a café… Tokyo… tower…?" I replied hesitantly.

"Oh." He started to frown. I could see suspicion creeping onto his face. "Would you like me to escort you?" He asked. I shook my head desperately.

"No thank you. I should be fine on my own." I responded. "Well, I'd better get going." I bowed and turned. "It was nice to see you, Shirogane-san!" I replied as I began to walk away, smiling at him over my shoulder.

"Oh, goodbye then, Retasu-san," He replied. I waved and then turned to face towards the direction that I was walking in. I could feel my cheeks heating up as I continued to walk. I could almost see the frown that he had worn at my pitiful excuses. I tried to shove all images of him from my head, but this proved difficult since I couldn't think of anything else more interesting.

And then, I remembered the oddly attractive face that I would see soon- not smiling, but not sour either. I couldn't help but smile as I thought of him. However much Shirogane-san's smile might have pulled at my heart, I knew that it was nothing compared to the pure joy that I felt when Pai looked into my eyes. Before I knew it, I was at the same place that I had been a week ago, before he had taken me to see that ocean landscape.

With the blink of an eye, and the touch of a hand, the scenery changed again.

I smiled.

The landscape this time was not the same. In fact, it was not the same space at all. Everything was a fluid green, constantly moving, like clouds swirling in the wind. Rubble floated all around, remnants of some ancient, foreign ruin. After a few moments, I realized that Pai and I were suspended in mid-air as well. Instead of simply holding his hand, I desperately clung to his arm, afraid of falling.

I then heard an odd sound- a soft, dark chuckle. I looked up to see him looking back at me, a very small smile on his lips, making his scar look crescent-shaped. I thought I might melt. "Don't be anxious, Midorikawa-san." He said softly. "You won't fall." Soothed by the sound of his voice, I relaxed my grip and returned my hand to his. For the first time, I paid attention to the rough texture of his hands, taking in every small imperfection.

I felt the air move around us as we gilded towards a large piece of the rubble. He landed first, and then slowly pulled me down. When I was about a foot away from the surface of the ruin, gravity seemed to start working again, bringing me to the ground with a soft _thud_. "What is this place?" I asked as I looked around. He pulled his hand away from mine as he started to walk toward a doorway on the platform. "This is a different space from where you live." He said as he turned to look at me. "This is our habitat."

_This is where they live?_ It seemed astonishing that anyone could survive in such a desolate place. "Umm…" I began, looking at my feet. "Why did you bring me here?" I asked. "You should meet your new comrades," he said, "since they have wanted to meet you outside of the battlefield for a while now." I smiled at the word 'comrade'. I honestly didn't know why, but it felt so right thinking of the aliens as my partners. I felt that I might relate to them more, since I was so different from the rest of the mews.

All of the rest of those girls, Ichigo, Purin, Zakuro, Minto… they all seemed so confident, whereas I questioned everything that I did and said… even when I tried to stand up for the aliens. When I really met Pai for the first time, I couldn't help but notice an air of insecurity about him. I could feel thoughts the same as mine leaking from his very being. _Who am I? Why am I here? Do they really need me? Am I that important, or am I useless? Would the world be any different if I weren't in it?_

I could see those words flitting across his eyes as he looked at me. We were so different, yet we shared those thoughts.

"Retasu?" I looked up to see Pai looking at me, violet eyes glowing under the shade of the arched doorway. "Do you want to come inside now?" He asked, and I nodded. I walked towards him, through the doorway after him, and into a deep maroon space. I saw two more sets of eyes glowing at me as I entered; Taruto's soft brown ones, lit up with curiosity, and Kisshu's sharp golden ones, filled with familiarity and anguish.

I never understood why Kisshu always looked at me like that. At least, not until I-


	5. The Murk

__Chapter 4 - The Murk

_Revised on 1/4/12._

* * *

When I met with the aliens, I was reminded of a meeting between in-laws, or perhaps a job interview. Taruto seemed to welcome me (in his awkward, 10-year-old-boy way), although Kisshu appeared somewhat hesitant. I was now a spy of sorts… a double agent, so to speak. I never really saw myself as the _spy _type; that was more of Uri's territory. I learned more about Kisshu and Taruto – and, by association, Pai – through extensive conversation.

When it was time for me to go home, Pai looked at me – his eyes still glowing in the gloom of the maroon space – and very lightly, as if I would break on contact, touched my elbow. I immediately knew what it meant, because he had done it many times before when he needed to return me home. I glanced at him, and then said goodbye to Kisshu and Taruto. I stood up, waved goodbye, and closed my eyes. When I opened them, I was in my room, Pai by my side.

I turned to him, smiling. "That was a little strange, but I'm glad to have met them." I said as he nodded, his face calm and serene.

"I am pleased that you are friendly with them." He said. I smiled, glancing at me feet.

"You… Kisshu and Taruto too…" I began. I heard him turn his head to look at me. "All three of you are not much different from humans…" I looked out the window, my smile fading as I realized that something felt very wrong. Slowly, I turned my head to him glaring at me, his

"We are _not_ like humans." Pai growled. I took a wary step back, eyeing him nervously. This was the first time that he had expressed any anger towards me. I felt the cold wall against my back as I continued to retreat, due to him advancing. His footsteps were soft, almost silent as he drew nearer, his tall figure towering over me as he closed the gap between us, leaving only an few inches. I saw his pale hand moving toward me, illuminated by a distant street lamp outside.

I was terrified.

I knew that he was stronger than me, and having no prior knowledge of how he expressed his anger only served to increase my apprehension.

"I'm sorry, Pai-san," I whispered as I stared at him. I saw his right ear twitch at the sound of his name. "I don't mean that you're similar in your beliefs, but I was just noting that you have similar mannerisms…" His eyes pierced mine as he cupped my chin too tightly, causing me to wince in pain.

"Since we've been around so much longer, perhaps the humans got it from us." He said coolly, his slight accent making the words sound stranger, and in a way, more frightening. "As a species, we are much more advanced. Surely you know that, or else you would probably ally yourself with your own ..." As he paused, I saw his eyes wander along my body, his face blank. "Species." He finished, sounding almost uncertain at the use of the word. He then looked into my eyes, releasing my chin to run his right hand through my hair, lightly holding the back of my neck with his left. I saw him look down at my mew mark that rested just below my collarbone, and just above the collar of my sundress. I shivered as he delicately ran his fingers along the shape of the light pink mark.

"But since you _don't_ ally yourself with them, it seems a bit odd that you should retain this mark." He hissed, rubbing the mark with his thumb, as if he were trying to rub it out of my skin. "You're ours."

I simply stared at him, unsure of what to do. "Pai-san," I began. He looked into my eyes, his gaze sharp and focused. "You're scaring me." He removed his hand and took a step back, then turned around.

"I apologize." He said coldly, his words sounding insincere. I stared at the back of his head, unsure of what to do. We stood in silence for several minutes, until he finally spoke. "I should leave." He said, turning his head slightly to look over his shoulder. I began to feel the sting of tears in my eyes as he turned his head again to look to his front.

"Please don't go." I said quietly, my hands shaking.

Silence.

"Why not?" He asked, his tone flat.

Silence again.

"I don't want to be alone." I whispered.

"You do not need me here." He said bluntly, still not looking at me.

"Yes, I do." I said, feeling the first tear trickle down my cheek. "I…"

I needed to say it, although I knew that it was unlikely that my feelings would be reciprocated.

"I think I love you…" I said, wanting to pull the words back as soon as they left my mouth.

He said nothing for a while.

Finally, he turned around, glaring at me. I wished that I were a ghost so that I could slide into the wall behind me.

"I was mistaken, then." He hissed. "You are a fool." And then the air grew stale and he disappeared.

After he was gone, I stood staring at where he had been standing, tears falling steadily now. It felt like I had been standing there for hours until I finally walked over to my bed and sat down on it. I pulled off my clothes, abandoning them on the floor, and then I shuffled through my doll-making supplies until I found my razor. I stared at it for a few moments until shifted my leg and began to carve his name into the outside of my thigh. I watched it bleed for a while until I began to feel woozy, and I lay back on my bed.

Although it was not the sweetest lullaby, I fell asleep to the memory of his cold, heartless words, the wound on my leg throbbing with his name.

That night, I dreamt of a desolate place, the ruins of my home. My dear 'friends' cried out to me, telling me that it wasn't too late. How would they know? It had been too late for a long time. I saw him then, standing in a shroud of darkness, his darks robes camouflaging him in the murk.

I tried to say his name, but not a sound emerged. I grabbed at my throat, but I found that it was missing. I saw it then, there in his hands: an old music box, rusted and broken down from disuse.

"Are you awake, Retasu?" He asked me. I tried to say no, but no words came out. "I'm sorry," He said, remorse resonating in his voice. "I think I love you too." With that, he dropped the music box, and upon hitting the ground, it turned into nothing but a pile of useless gears. I slowly started to black out, pain searing into my leg.

When I awoke, my leg was bandaged, although the blood was starting to seep through. When I looked over at my bedside table, I found a single note upon it, in messy kanji.

_I'm sorry. Don't hurt yourself anymore._


	6. The Lighthouse

Chapter 5 - The Lighthouse

_Revised on 1/4/12_

* * *

_When did you learn to speak so well? How did you get that scar? Is there someone on your planet that you love more than anyone else? Why are you so bitter? Why did you take care of my wounds? Why do you understand me so well? Why was it me that you decided to seek out? What's so special about me?_

_To me, all these questions crashing around my mind sound like the waves, threatening to take me away._

I didn't see him all day. The only reminder that I had of his presence was the bandage left behind to cover my self inflicted wound from the night before. I knew that he was avoiding me, and that only served to inflame the hurt that was already there.

I wanted to see him.

I decided to stay home. I didn't want to see those three girls, or my co-workers, or my lecherous teachers, especially if I wasn't going to be seeing Pai. All of it was too much for me. I _needed _to see him, no matter what. But, I had no idea how to contact him, and I didn't know how to get to his dimension. My heart ached as I continued to think about him, so I tried my hardest to think about something else. Perhaps I was weak, both in body and in mind.

As the day progressed, the realization dawned on me that although I had allied myself with the aliens, I had done nothing for their effort. I spent the rest of the day compiling all the information that I had on the mews; addresses, powers, DNA infusions, the secret base under Café Mew Mew, usual hangout places, addresses of schools. It made me sick realizing just how much I knew about the mews. I guess that it made sense that I knew so much, since I was one of them. One of _them_…

Once I had groped around my brain for everything that I knew about the mews and written it down, I leaned back in my chair, staring that the poster on my ceiling; a scene from a faraway beach, the sun setting into the sea beyond the couple sitting on the edge of the dock. _'I will go to the library tomorrow after school'_ I decided. _'I'll get a few foreign photo collections. That will make me happier…'_

I looked back down the pages in front of me that revealed everything that I knew about what I hated. I pulled up the sleeve of my sweater to look at the scars on my wrist, running my index finger over them. I thought that perhaps I should have worn something like Pai did over his arms, and then I realized that some of my 'friends' would take more notice that they did now. I looked over at my razor that I had cleaned earlier that day, staring at it for a long time before deciding to get up. I rose from my chair and lay down on my bed, curling up under my sheet.

Slowly, I drifted into a light slumber, until I was woken by stale air and a whooshing sound. The sheet was lifted from my body, and as I groggily opened my eyes, I realized that my light had gone out, leaving the room dark. I noticed a figure looming above me, holding up the sheet. I blinked very slowly, and smiled slightly, recognizing the lean form. He leaned down, his lips centimeters from my ear.

"Come with me, Retasu." He whispered to me in that familiar voice of his. "I have something to show you." I nodded very slowly as I wrapped my arms around his neck. I remember thinking that he looked surprised when I did this, but I was half asleep, so most of the interaction is quite fuzzy in my mind.

He then slid his arms under me, lifting me from the comfort of my bed. I pulled myself into the warmth of his chest, a suitable replacement for my pillow. I closed my eyes again, falling back into the world of dreaming. When I awoke, I lay in the sand, a million broken shells scattered all around. I looked up at the sky, not yet bright from the rising sun. I looked over at the sinister figure that sat a foot or so away from me; Pai.

I blushed as I observed that he was once again wearing nothing but his pants. This time, however, I noticed scars running along his chest. After looking at him for a while, he turned to look at me, his expression remaining the same. "Good morning." He said softly, running his hand through his loose hair. I slowly sat up, looking out at the scene before me. What I saw was the gentle glow peeking out over the sea in the otherwise dark sky, showing where the sun would rise.

"Where are we?" I asked.

"The beach," He responded flatly. I realized that he probably wasn't going to be any more specific, so I gave up any hope that he would.

"Why did you bring me here?" I asked, worried that he would say something truly heartbreaking.

"You love foreign shores." He said, more as a statement than a question. "I was concerned about you the night that I…" He paused, looking awkwardly at his feet. "After I bandaged you up that night, I looked at your books, waiting for you to wake up." I stared at him, somewhat awed by the melancholy expression that he wore.

"You didn't wake up until the sun rose, so I left, hoping that you would be okay without me." _He stayed._

He turned to me, his eyes filled with sadness. "The character that you put on your leg…" He began, his voice getting quieter with every word. "That's how you write my name in your language, isn't it?" I turned back to the sea, nodding slightly.

"Ever since I met you…" I said, realizing that Pai had said the same exact thing as I, exactly at the same time. I turned to face him, looking at him in the eyes. I didn't finish, because he spoke first.

"I've become possessed." He said showing me his right forearm. I saw that there were a series of scabs, in the shape of symbols that I couldn't read.

"It says Retasu." He said as I looked up at his face that was inches from mine. "I really am sorry, but I can't…" He said, his eyes still filled with sorrow. He then frowned, his face drained of color. "I'm sorry." He said, lowering his arm as he turned away, looking back at the sea through the light mist. I realized then that tears were pouring down my cheeks, and had been for some time. I quickly wiped away all of the salty drops from my face and looked back at him.

"Pai-san," I began, his eyes flickering over to me. "It doesn't matter if you can feel the same way or not, but I really love you." I finished, feeling tears continue to fall from my eyes.

He continued to stare at the sea, not looking at me. His eyes were lifeless now as he stared at the waves that crashed onto the shore. He then looked at something behind me, and when I turned to see, I saw a lighthouse looming above the hills in the sand. I turned back to him to find him looking at me now.

"Do you want to go there?" He asked as I blinked in confusion. "We're going to the lighthouse." He said as he offered me his hand. I hesitantly placed my hand in his, and then closed my eyes after stealing one last glance of him. Once again, when I opened my eyes, I was seated inside a small, circular room.

Pai stood up first, pulling me up with our still intertwined hands. When I was on my feet, he wrapped his arms around me, pulling me into a tight hug. I felt tears welling up again as he buried his head in the crevice between my neck and my shoulder. I heard the waves crashing in the distance as I returned his embrace, unable to stop the tears. As we stood there, wrapped in each other's arms for what seemed like an eternity, I felt the warmth of the rising sun on my back. Finally, Pai's grip loosened, and he pulled back from me, staring into my eyes.

Slowly he drew closer, pulling me back into him, his hands resting on my back. His lips were so warm when they met mine, I couldn't stop myself from letting more tears flow as he kissed me. I wrapped my arms around his neck again, pulling him into the kiss even more. Although he never told me exactly what his feelings were, I decided that this meant that he accepted mine.

I could hear the fog horn of a distant ship drowning out the sound of the waves that filled my ears.


	7. The Questions

Chapter 6 - The Questions

_Revised on 1/4/12_

* * *

When I arrived at work the next day, the only thing that I could think about was Pai's soft, scarred lips, and our first kiss. I felt a little stupid, acting all dazed and ridiculously happy, not unlike Ichigo when she thought about Aoyama-san. For once, the mews took interest in me without me having to prompt them. Ichigo interrogated me throughout the day, followed closely behind by Minto and Purin.

If Pai had been human, perhaps I would have told them the truth, but saying 'I'm dating an alien bent on world domination' would likely make future conversations slightly awkward. The questions that the other mews asked me were things like;

"Is he tall?"

_Yes, he's very tall._

"Does play sports?"

_Not that I know of._

"Is he good looking?"

_Of course he is._

"Is he smart?"

_Yes, although his Japanese isn't very good._

"Does he love you?"

_Who knows?_

Of course, I insisted that I had no boyfriend, since if I had admitted it, Ichigo would surely have conducted a _very_ thorough investigation. Ignoring the mew's prying questions, I thought about later in the day, when I would be seeing Pai again. He would meet me at home, in my room, I would give him everything that I had written down about the mews, and maybe we…

I blushed as I thought about it. Eventually, the girls left me alone to go do more important things, such as working. A few minutes later, a figure came into my line of sight- Shirogane. I smiled softly and returned wiping down a table as I had been prior to his arrival. "You look happy today, Retasu-san." He said with a slight smirk, putting his hands in his pockets. I blushed, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear.

"I guess I am happy." I said, cringing at how flirtatious it sounded.

"Well, that's good. Customers like happy." He said before turning around and walking away. I was slightly taken aback by his words. I guess that must have been why Ichigo was always calling him a jerk. I had never paid enough attention to what he said to make that observation. But now, I couldn't help but noticing more and more about him. I shook my head, trying to bring myself back into reality, and away from indecent thoughts about my boss.

After all, I had a boyfriend… or something like that, I guess…

As I opened the door to my house, the familiar smell of my mother's food wafted into my face, filling my lungs as I breathed in. A cheerful greeting came from the kitchen, more specifically, from my father. "Welcome home!" He said as I took of my shoes and walked into the kitchen.

"The same goes to you." I responded as I smiled at my parents. My father nodded to me, leaning on the counter with a smile as my mother kindly smiled and said hello from her position in front of the stove.

"Dinner in about an hour?" She said softly. I nodded, and then made my way up the stairs to my room. When I entered my room, I saw Pai standing there, a book neatly parted in his hand. As I closed the door, I was once again struck by the incredible light of the setting sun on his tall, muscular, yet slender figure. I couldn't help remembering the first time that he had appeared in my room, the light shining on him just the way it did now.

"Hello," I began, nervously. "Am I late…?" He lifted his eyes from my book at the sound of my voice, and then shook his head.

"You cannot possibly be late if there was no specific time that we agreed to meet." He replied, closing the book that he was holding, and then setting it down on my desk. With that simple gesture, all of the giddy joy that I had been feeling washed out of me, and I felt as if I had been doused with cold water. I looked at him uncertainly as he examined a poster on the wall.

"Oh… I should probably get those sheets of paper that I compiled for-"

"There's no need." Pai interjected, grabbing a folder off of the table and waving it in the air. "I already collected what I came for." He set the folder back onto the table, turning his gaze to me. I could hear that I had audibly swallowed. He then started to advance towards me, his slow pace raising my level of apprehension. "I hope you don't mind." He said as he came to a halt before me.

"I have been here for a while, so I decided that it might be best if I gathered what I needed before you arrived, so that I could leave you in peace as soon as possible." He said as he brushed my hair back behind my ear. The startling gesture caused me to drop my bag, allowing me to press myself into my door as much as I could. He leaned forward so that his lips were almost touching my ears. "Unless…" He whispered as he pulled my hips into his. "You don't want me to."

He lifted his left hand to show me the object that it delicately held; my razor. "I find you fascinating, Retasu."

"Why do you have that?" I asked in a whisper, somehow afraid to speak any louder. Turning the razor in his fingertips, he ran the back edge of it along my neck. I shivered at the cold metal against my skin, thankful that he was using the blunt side.

"I thought I would keep this for a while." He said in a low voice, lifting the razor from my neck to examine the small blade. Suddenly, his eyes flickered onto my, his gaze intense. "I have become fond of you, and I would rather you not accidentally bleed to death." This was such a different Pai than the one from the day before.

The day before, he seemed so gentle, so melancholy, but the Pai that I was seeing in my almost dark room turned knots in my stomach. This was the Pai that I had revealed my feelings to as he stood with his back turned to me, the Pai that coldly called me a fool. I wasn't really sure which Pai I loved more. Placing the back of the razor on my skin again, he ran it along my mew mark.

"Although," he began. "Perhaps I should cover this mark that you have with my own mark." Very gently, he kissed my mew mark, and then pulled away. I froze as I felt his hand running along my thigh. "Then again, I suppose you've already marked yourself as mine, haven't you?" Pain seared through my leg as he roughly grabbed my wound. I started to scream, but he quickly dropped the razor from his other hand, allowing him to cover my mouth without cutting my lips open.

"Shh… I'm sorry, Retasu…" He whispered as tears began to stream down my face. "But I needed to illustrate my point." He lightly kissed my cheek before he spoke again. "All this pain is unnecessary." He slid his arms under me once again, being careful to avoid my injury. Laying me down on my bed, he whispered to me once more.

"If you ever want proper care, just let me know." He pulled away, straightening up. "I have training as a medic." I stared at him as he returned over to the door, picking up the razor, and in turn, the folder with information on the mews in it. He nodded to me once, and when I blinked, he was gone. I knew that I was risking everything I had without a guarantee that I would get anything in return, but I couldn't help it. I really, really wanted to be with him. I choked back a sob, burying my face in my hands.

He was right. I really am a fool.


	8. Endearment

Chapter 7 - Endearment

_Revised on 1/4/12._

* * *

Once again, I found myself in that constantly moving alternate dimension.

"_Retasu-san, do you know what this is?"_

"_Mew Aqua."_

"_Yes, Mew Aqua. It's a natural resource of Earth."_

"_Shirogane-san, if it's a natural resource, than why did you call it Mew Aqua, as if it belongs to us?"_

"_Well, that doesn't really matter. What does matter is that we need these to fight against the aliens. The other mews are out looking for more Mew Aqua right now."_

"_Ummm… Why did you want me here then? Shouldn't I be out helping them?"_

"_Retasu-san… no… Mew Retasu… I am leaving this drop of Mew Aqua with you."_

"_With me?"_

"_Yes. I trust you with it."_

"_But, why me?"_

"_Out of all the other Mews, I know that you are the most responsible one, and the one who cares about the planet the most."_

"_But… what all can it exactly do…?"_

"_We don't really know what the limits of its capabilities are, but… well… you saw the video of the bird that we revived with a single drop."_

"_I understand. You can trust me. I will protect this with my life."_

"_Thank you, Retasu-san."_

Kisshu's eyes were wide as he saw the small bottle that I dangled in front of him. Clearly, he knew what 'Mew Aqua' was.

"Where did you get that?" He asked, awestruck. Taruto looked equally surprised, his mouth gaping open. Pai stood there with his arms crossed, not looking particularly interested – a strong contrast to the attitude of his comrades.

"It was given to me by Shirogane Ryou." I said, a small swell of pride sweeping through me. "He said that out of all the Mews, he trusts me the most."

"Good girl." Pai said rather unexpectedly, a small smirk tugging at the corners of his lips. "You seem to know exactly what we need." I blushed at this, wondering if the others noticed the small innuendo.

"Well," Kisshu began, floating back down to the surface. "You've done a very good job, Iruka-chan. Now, hand it over." He began to reach for the Mew Aqua, but Pai grabbed Kisshu's arm, looking at him scornfully.

"First of all Kisshu, stop using those stupid nicknames," Pai growled, causing Kisshu to frown. "Second of all, the other Mews and Shirogane will loose their trust in her if the 'Mew Aqua' vanishes without a trace." Kisshu pulled his arm away, glaring at Pai. "We need them to trust Retasu." Pai finished, crossing his arms once again.

"Fine then. Don't blame me when she loses it." Kisshu growled spitefully before he teleported away. Pai turned his gaze to Taruto who was levitating above us, staring at me with an expression that indicated that he hadn't recovered from his astonishment. After a few moments, Taruto noticed that Pai was staring at him.

"Hey, don't look at me!" Taruto said, raising his hands defensively before he too teleported away. After the two others left, Pai turned to me, offering his hand. I smiled slightly and placed my hand in his. We teleported then, taking us back into my room. As soon as our feet were on solid ground, he leaned down to kiss me, his hands on my shoulders. He kissed me for a few moments, and as he pulled away, I couldn't help but let a question slip between my lips.

"Do Kisshu and Taruto know about us?" I asked as he kissed me along my jawbone.

"Not unless you told them." He replied in a whisper as he began to unbutton my sweater. I blushed, pushing him away.

"What are you doing, Pai-san?" I asked, holding my sweater closed. He stood up straight, looking slightly confused.

"What's wrong?" He asked, putting his left hand on his hip.

"I'm not sure that I'm ready to do that yet." I said nervously as he looked down, nodding.

"I see," He began, crossing his arms again. "Well, it can't be helped. I'll wait until you're ready." I was grateful for his respect of my decision, but I couldn't help but notice that disappointment flickered across his face as his spoke. I felt like I owed him some sort of explanation, although, in retrospect, perhaps I didn't.

"I don't mind kissing you for now, but… I guess that I'm just worried that you'll leave me…" I said, looking down at my feet as I buttoned up my sweater again. When I looked up, I jumped back slightly, because his face was inches from mine, and he looked very serious.

"I'll never leave you." He whispered, brushing my hair out of my face. "As foolish as it is for me to be with you, it would be even more foolish to _not_ be with you." I felt myself tearing up as he spoke, not because of sadness, but because of how happy those words made me.

"I love you." I whispered as I wrapped my arms around him. He whispered something that I couldn't hear as he returned my embrace, but I can guess what he said.

When I arrived at work the next day, Shirogane greeted me with a slight smile and a nod. I probably blushed a little bit. I went through my shift as happy as could be, picturing both Pai's face, and Shirogane's. When I was done with work, Shirogane met me at the door.

"Is the Mew Aqua safe?" He whispered in my ear. I smiled and placed my hand where it rested on my neck, underneath my clothes.

"As safe as it could possibly be." I said, closing my eyes. He smirked, putting his hands in his pockets.

"I'm glad," He said. "I knew that I could trust you."

"Of course you can." I said before walking away, my school bag in tow.

I should have seen it. I should have known.


	9. Hands All Over

__Chapter 8 - Hands All Over

_Revised on 1/4/12_

* * *

_Pai-san, what is happening to me? Why does nothing make sense anymore? Where are the foundations that I stand upon when I need them most? Why are my thoughts and feelings so confused?_

I had to admit, there was something satisfying about looking down at people from where I was. Broom in hand, I gazed over the edge of the balcony to watch Ichigo greet passers by as she swept the walkway to the café. Perhaps this was close to the feeling that Pai got when he floated above the city, analyzing it. It was a sharp voice speaking my name that brought back from my journey through my thoughts.

"Retasu-san," Minto called from the lower level. "Are you finished sweeping the balcony yet?" I hastily began sweeping before replying.

"I'm sorry, Minto-san. I was daydreaming." I called back as I swept the dust and dry leaves into a dustpan.

"What?" Minto yelled, not hearing what I said.

I hurried in my task of emptying the dustpan into the garbage bin, lacking the confidence to yell back at Minto. I grabbed the broom as I rushed downstairs, tripping on the last step. Shirogane happened to by passing by, so he caught me before I hit the ground.

"Careful, Retasu-san." He said, supporting me as I got my balance back.

"Thank you…" I said quietly, blushing. Shirogane simply nodded and resumed his trek across the café. Cheeks still bright red, I picked up the broom and dustpan that I had dropped. When I stood up, I looked down slightly to see Minto, a wicked grin spread across her face.

"Um… what's wrong, Minto-san…?" I said nervously, although I knew what was coming. Instead of replying immediately, her smile grew bigger, and she placed her forefinger on her cheek.

"What's with that face, Retasu-san?" She giggled as she tapped her cheek and then crossed her arms. "You're blushing." Of course, I blushed more.

"I'm not blushing." I lied, although there was no point in me doing so.

"You might as well just admit it." Minto said, shifting her weight to her other foot as she spoke. "You totally like Shirogane." I shook my head at this; another pointless lie.

"No, I don't." I said as I walked around her, towards the storage closet. She began following me, her steps brisk.

"I can help you confess." She said as another pair of feet joined hers.

"Purin wants to help too, na no da!" Purin squealed. I whipped around, my face red.

"I don't need any help with anything. I don't like Shirogane." I said, dropping my broom and dustpan once again. "I like someone…" I trailed off, stopping myself before I did more damage. Purin and Minto looked surprised for a moment, but the devious smiles quickly returned. Each grabbed one of my arms, rushing me towards the storage closet. Ichigo had apparently decided to become part of the interaction, because I felt another pair of hands on my back, pushing me forward.

"Can you please just leave me alone?" I asked, the end of my sentence blocked out by the door slamming shut. As the light flickered on, the three girls looked at me, arms crossed.

"We'll leave you alone about Shirogane for the moment," Minto began as Purin nodded in agreement. "But you let it slip out, so now you have to tell us; who is this other guy that you like?" I backed as far as I could into the shelf behind me, ignoring the crackling sound coming from the box that I was leaning on.

"I really don't want to talk about it." I said, crossing my arms uncomfortably. "Besides, it really doesn't concern you." All of the girls frowned at this.

"Retasu-san, it's not like we're going to tell him that you like him." Ichigo said. "We just want to know, because you're our friend." Purin grunted in agreement and Minto nodded. I was preparing what I was going to say next, when the door opened to reveal a smiling Keiichirou.

"I'm sorry ladies, but I'm afraid that this little party must end." He said, moving out of the way so that we could exit. "We have some work to do." Shoving my way past Ichigo and company, I made my way into the café, thinking about what I could possibly say to the mews the next time that they cornered me.

When I came home, I found that Pai was sleeping in my bed. Admittedly, this was a scene that I had seen before. His grey-lavender hair was spread across the pillow, and as I drew nearer, I couldn't help but stare at his bare, scarred chest. I stood there for a few moments, looking at the fangs that peeked out from his lips, listening to his soft breathing. The longer I looked at him, the more tempted I was to steal a kiss from those soft lips.

After a while, I finally did. As soon as my lips touched his, his hands shot up, pulling me onto the bed. I was quite startled at the sudden movement. As he lay me down next to him, he sat up, cradling my neck as he kissed me. I was always surprised when his breath was always fresh, unlike a human's. "What time is it?" He murmured between kisses, running his hand along my arm.

"It's around seven PM…" I replied before I was cut off by another prolonged kiss as Pai pulled my body into his. He ran his fingers along my neck and along my collarbone, lingering on my mew mark. "Are you hungry?" I asked, running my hand along his back.

"A little…" he said drowsily. I smiled a little bit at his tone as his lips wandered along my jaw, finding their way to my throat.

"Should I get you something from downstairs?" I asked softly. Pai greeted that question with a low growl and a nibble to my ear.

"No. I just want you." He said as he rolled onto his back, pulling me over him. I blushed a little, brushing my hair behind my ear. His eyes were serious, just like they always were. He sighed and closed his eyes, covering them with his arm. "We keep searching for new 'Mew Aqua', but we haven't come up with anything." He muttered absentmindedly. "I haven't been able to sleep at all…" I furrowed my brow at his previous words.

"Why don't you just use the 'Mew Aqua' that I offered you?" I asked as Pai moved his arm up to look at me, frowning.

"It's a bad idea, Retasu." He said as he put his hands on my hips, shifting my body. I blushed, realizing where I had been resting.

"Why?" I asked. "I'm tired of humans; I don't care if they know that I'm siding with you." I said, startled as Pai sat up quickly, his eyes piercing mine.

"Are you?" He growled, clutching my shoulders. "Because I think that you are still a little uncertain about where your loyalties lie." I stared at him, wide-eyed as his grip tightened.

"What are you talking about, Pai-san?" I asked nervously. I admit that my negative feelings about humans had been wavering slightly, but mostly due to how I felt about Shirogane. Suddenly, Pai's words made sense. He wasn't talking about my allegiance; he was talking about Shirogane.

"I've seen the way you look at that man." He sneered, glaring at me. "You want him." He growled, pulling me closer. "Understand this, Retasu. You're mine." He let go of my shoulder to slide his hand under my skirt, resting it on my scar that formed his name.

I knew it was no use trying to lie to him, but I did anyway. "I'm sorry, Pai-san." I said nervously, my voice quaking with fear. "I assure you that nothing has happened, and nothing will happen." I saw suspicion in his eyes, but he didn't press the issue.

"I would hope that your words are true." He hissed as he burrowed his head in the crevice between my neck and shoulder, sliding his hand up to my hip underneath my skirt. I stared vacantly as he made a trail of kisses along my neck, up to my ear.

It was a little strange, becoming accustomed to lying.


	10. The Galaxy in the Marble

Chapter 9 - The Galaxy in the Marble

_Revised on 1/4/12._

* * *

I could feel panic rising as the pain wouldn't subside. "Shh…" Although Pai's face was blank, his wildly fearful eyes betrayed his emotion. "It's going to be alright." He whispered, although his wavering voice left me in doubt. I sobbed, covering my throbbing eye. "Retasu, you have to let me see it." He said as he grabbed my wrist, trying to pry my hand from my face.

"No, don't look!" I cried as blood poured from my injured eye. Through my left eye, I saw him scowl before he forcefully pulled my hand away. He grimaced slightly, cradling my face in his hands. I sobbed as another wave of pain washed over me.

"You need to calm down Retasu." He said softly as I clenched my right eye as tightly closed as I could. I couldn't really see through all the blood anyway. "You need to tell me, Retasu…" He whispered as I fearfully gazed into his eyes. "Where is the 'Mew Aqua'?"

* * *

Earlier that day…

* * *

Somehow, I found myself searching underground for 'Mew Aqua'. Ichigo's complaints echoed loudly off the walls as we made our way through the tunnel. The mews were walking in single file line with me at the end, behind Zakuro. Purin seemed to make the best of it, skipping her way along at the head of the group. Masha clearly had been programmed so that he wouldn't accidentally detect the 'Mew Aqua' that hung around my neck, because we had not had any false alarms. Keiichirou had told us that he had detected a 'Mew Aqua' nearby, so we were sent through the waterway in search of it.

I cautiously touched the earring that I was wearing; making sure that it was still there. It was a gift from Pai, and I treasured it. Admittedly, it was also made for locating the 'Mew Aqua', but that didn't matter to me. I still saw it as a present.

_I remember sitting in the alien's dimension on a fallen pillar, waiting for Pai to return. I stared up at the dome ceiling, the gems on it forming a design which I recognized instantly- Earth. I knew that the aliens left Earth due to horrible conditions; the videos that Akasaka-san and Shirogane-san had found showed me that much. I observed that out of all the aliens that I had seen, Pai seemed to be the most begrudging of humans._

_After I sat thinking about time spent trying to get Pai to open up, I heard the dimension shift, and the space in front of me shifted from a nauseating green to a dank grey-blue. "Find me the Mew Aqua" A strained voice hissed to Pai, who kneeled before a silhouetted figure._

"_Yes, Deep Blue-sama." My lover responded, his head bowed in humility. I frowned at this. Submission did not suit him. With that, the dimension shifted back to that ever flowing green, and light rained down upon Pai's back. He stood up, his front still turned away from mine. He seemed to be staring for a while, lost in thought, before he turned to me, eyeing me curiously, as if he had forgotten that I had been waiting for him._

"_What…" I began, trying to find the words. "What did Deep Blue-sama say?" I asked as Pai began to walk towards me._

"_You heard the basic gist of it." He said calmly as he sat down. He continued to stare vacantly, his mind occupied. Not wanting to disturb him, I sat silently, examining the dome ceiling once more. After a few moments, I realized that he was emitting a harsh sounding string of unfamiliar syllables. I looked at him in confusion for a few moments, realizing that he seemed to be speaking in his native tongue. He continued to speak to himself for a while until he abruptly turned to me, his violet eyes glowing._

_I realized that he was talking to me now, although I couldn't understand a thing that he was saying. "Um… Pai-san…?" I said, furrowing my brow in confusion. He stopped as I spoke, his face blank. "I'm sorry, but I don't know what you're saying." He frowned, letting out a sigh as he pinched the bridge of his nose._

"_My apologies, Retasu," He said, brushing my hair behind my ear as he looked at me. "I was just a little upset." He said as he slowly leaned over and planted a small kiss on my cheek. Although I was very confused, I did appreciate the small gesture of affection._

"_It's alright…" I said, blushing. "I understand."_

"_Retasu, would you mind doing me a favor?"_

_I stared into his eyes, and shook my head slightly._

"_What do you need me to do?" I asked, excited at the thought of being able to help Pai. Slowly, he brought his hands up to my ears, gently removing my earrings. After he deposited my earrings into my open palm, he produced another set of earrings from his sleeve._

"_Um… Pai-san?" I began, now even more puzzled._

"_Shh…" He whispered as he slid the first earring gently into my right ear. His rough, male hands felt unusually gentle on the soft skin of my ear lobes. I stared into his eyes, almost falling into a trance as his fingers trailed along the skin of my neck to get to my other ear. Once the other earring was in, his gaze returned to mine, his eyes serious._

"_Help us get the 'Mew Aqua'."_

Staring ahead, I snapped back into reality when a drop of water splashed onto my nose.

"I am so sick of this stupid tunnel!" Ichigo growled in frustration as she kicked a rock angrily. "I'm so sick of Shirogane telling us to go on these wild goose chases!" Minto shook her head slightly, rubbing the back of her neck.

"You are so uncivilized, Ichigo-san." She said snootily, tipping her head so that her nose was in the air. Ichigo turned around to scowl at her, causing all of the other mews to stop in their tracks.

"You know what, Minto?" She growled, putting her hands on her hips.

"No, I don't know. Would you care to enlighten me, Ichigo?" Minto hissed as she crossed her arms.

_Retasu… can you hear me?_

I froze, and then looked around. Nothing.

_This is Pai. I am communicating with you through your thoughts. As I can also hear your thoughts, this will be how we shall communicate._

Quickly getting over the initial shock of having another voice in my head, I nodded, forgetting that Pai couldn't see me. I knew that it wasn't the time to ask how we could possibly be communicating telepathically.

"I am so sick of the way you talk down to me all the time!" Ichigo said angrily, waving her arms about.

_I understand, Pai-san._ I thought as I watched the scene before me. So far, Zakuro and Pudding were staying uninvolved, and simply observing the scene before them.

_Retasu, listen to me._ I heard Pai say. _The 'Mew Aqua' is nearby._

My eyes widened with surprise.

_Are you sure?_ I asked.

_Yes. You should take the next possible opportunity to look around for stray objects that look out of place._ He said.

_I will._ I said as I turned my attention back to the other mews. I noticed that this outburst of anger between Ichigo and Minto was ending, due to Zakuro interfering.

"This argument must come to a close for the time being." Zakuro said calmly as she placed herself between the two arguing Mews, "Unless, of course, you want the aliens to find the Mew Aqua and use it to wreak havoc upon the Earth." Minto and Ichigo looked at their feet, their expressions sullen. Suddenly, Pudding jumped up, a big smile stretching out her lips.

"We just have to be the super heroes that we are, and get the Mew Aqua and use it to save the day, na no da!" She said cheerily, as Minto and Ichigo smiled at her, their mood lightened by the monkey-girl's bright outlook.

"Alright, let's keep looking." Ichigo said, pumping her fists. The other mews nodded and began walking. I smiled slightly, a brilliant idea creeping into my mind. Groaning slightly, I crouched, holding my stomach, feigning pain. The other mews turned around, walking towards me.

"Are you okay, Retasu?" Ichigo asked, concerned. I looked up at her, furrowing my brow, forcing a small, weak smile onto me face.

"I'm fine, Ichigo-san." I blushed slightly, bonking my head with my free hand. "Its… well… you know… girl stuff." I said as Ichigo also blushed, her face relaxing into a smile. She crouched down too, shifting her lips close to my ear.

"Do you need any pads or anything?" She whispered, pulling away. I shook my head.

"I'm fine, thank you." I said, brushing my hair behind my ear. "If you guys wouldn't mind going ahead without me, I'll catch up to you soon." Ichigo smiled and nodded, standing up and walking over to the rest of the mews. After explaining the situation, Minto made a snarky comment, and the group continued though the tunnel.

Once I could no longer hear them, I looked around, searching.

_What sort of object might it be?_ I thought as I picked up an old key.

_I'll let you know when you have it._ He said as I set the key back down, looking around. I was grateful that Pai had avoided talking about my excuse for separating from the Mews. After going through several odd objects, I finally picked up a small marble, holding it gingerly in my hand. As soon as the small marble was in my hand, I felt shivers run down my spine. I stared at it, feeling immediately drawn to it. It was a cat's eye marble, and in the rest of the space, I could see what looked like a galaxy.

_That's the 'Mew Aqua'._ Pai hissed, his voice tense. I didn't need him to tell me. I already could tell. I felt my throat tighten as I kept staring at it. I felt as if I were being sucked into it as I looked deeper and deeper into it...

_Retasu!_ Pai's voice snapped me back to the mission at hand. _I will meet you at your house as soon as you get there. You must return home as soon as possible._ His voice sounded urgent, chillier than usual.

_I understand._ I thought as I pulled out my cell phone, calling Ichigo.

"Hello?" Ichigo's voice made me a little sad as I thought about how I was truly betraying them all. "Retasu? Are you okay?"

"I'm not really feeling so well… is it alright if I head home?" I asked, hoping that Ichigo would remain as trusting as she usually was.

"Of course! I'll come back to take you home." She said, and I quickly interjected.

"No, you need to get the Mew Aqua. I'll be fine, so please don't trouble yourself." I said. There was a minute of silence before Ichigo agreed, and then ended the call with a 'bye, I hope you feel better soon'.

Putting my cell phone away, I retraced my steps, clenching the marble tightly in my pocketed hand. When I finally reached the ladder that I had used to enter the tunnel, I climbed up, emerging in a park, not far from Café Mew Mew. As my made my way through the empty park, I pulled out the marble to stare at it. I found it so captivating, the way that the colors swirled around the solid black center.

As I saw it, I thought about how beautiful it would look if it were Pai's eye. After all, his species does have catlike eyes. Sometimes, I wished that I was one of Pai's kind. I would be so much less weak, I could fly, teleport… I looked up at the stop light sadly.

_If I were of Pai's kind,_ I thought. _Maybe it would be alright if we were together._

I put the marble back into my pocket as the light changed. I continued my walk in silence. I finally made it to the train station, and once I had boarded my train, I pulled out the marble once again, felling as if I were being pulled into the black center. All I could think about was Pai- although that wasn't exactly unusual. There were so many things that he hadn't told me about, so many things that I wanted to ask him. I wanted to know him better, but I felt as if there was a barrier between us.

I had been focusing so much on the marble, and on my thoughts that I almost missed my stop. I quickly exited the train before it departed again, leaving me at my station. I walked up the stairs to the street, the marble once again in my pocket. I walked a few blocks until I finally reached my street, at which point I removed the marble from my pocket once again. I just couldn't stop staring at it. Why…? Why had I been so stupid?

I barely noticed as I subconsciously walked the familiar route to my home. Before I knew it, I was standing in my garden, almost to my front door. I pulled out my keys from my bag, unlocking my front door. The house was quiet as I walked in. I knew that Pai must be upstairs, waiting silently for me. Closing the door behind me, I stood silently in the entryway, staring into the darkness of the living room. I didn't want to see Pai immediately; I was scared, as usual. As much as I loved him, I still found him frightening, and I knew that I probably always would. Reaching into my pocket, I once again pulled out the marble to stare at it. This time, I noticed that it seemed blurry to me. Squinting my eyes, I realized that my vision wasn't getting any better, and I took off my glasses to take a better look at it.

I was surprised to find that the marble looked so much clearer with my glasses off. Suddenly happier, I brought the marble closer to my eye, staring at it. That's when it happened. There was a brilliant flash of light, and then a sharp pain in my eye, as if something were forcing its way in. Dropping my glasses, I screamed, clutching at my eye. I could feel fear setting in as I felt blood gushing through my fingers. Pulling my hands away, I stared at the coat of blood on them, my whole body shaking. I fell to my knees, sobbing.

I could barely see Pai when he came into view, but I felt his hands on my arms, clutching me. I could feel panic rising as the pain wouldn't subside. "Shh…" Although Pai's face was blank, his wildly fearful eyes betrayed his emotion. "It's going to be alright." He whispered, although his wavering voice left me in doubt. I sobbed, covering my throbbing eye. "Retasu, you have to let me see it." He said as he grabbed my wrist, trying to pry my hand from my face.

"No, don't look!" I cried as blood poured from my injured eye. Through my left eye, I saw him scowl before he forcefully pulled my hand away. He grimaced slightly, cradling my face in his hands. I sobbed as another wave of pain washed over me.

"You need to calm down Retasu." He said softly as I clenched my right eye as tightly closed as I could. I couldn't really see through all the blood anyway. "You need to tell me, Retasu…" He whispered as I fearfully gazed into his eyes. "Where is the 'Mew Aqua'?" My eye widened. _Where _is _the 'Mew Aqua'? _I desperately looked around me, searching for the marble. Slowly the realization dawned on me, and I let out a sob as I covered my eye again. I saw Pai's eyes widen in horror as he too realized what had happened. "Oh no." Pulling my hand away again – more gently this time – he told me to open my eye, which I did with much trouble. His expression hardened as he examined my eye.

"I'm so sorry, Retasu."


	11. Cherries

Chapter 10 - Cherries

_Revised on 1/4/12._

* * *

"What happened to your eye, Retasu?"

I could feel my face harden at Ichigo's question. I stared at her through my good eye, touching the bandage that was over my right one. I let out a humorless laugh as the other Mews gathered around, their faces filled with concern. "I fell down and my glasses broke." I said, once again bonking my head, smiling falsely. "Some of the shards got in my eye." There was no way that I could tell them that the 'Mew Aqua' had merged with my iris.

"_I'm so stupid!" I drew back at Pai's angry shout. "Of _course_ the 'Mew Aqua' merged with you! It always does!" I gingerly touched the bandage over my eye. Ever since I had gotten my eye taken care of at the doctor's, I had felt energy constantly flowing through me. It was a warm feeling, like I had just drunk a hot cup of tea._

"_You're not stupid, Pai-san." I said, reaching out to take his hand. I was fearful, for I had never seen him so upset. "There is no way that you could have known that it would merge with me." He glared up at me, his amethyst eyes blazing._

"_No, I should have known." He growled, turning away from me, resting his head in his hand. "You're not like the others. That's why it wanted to merge with you…" He trailed off, slumping down onto my bed. I watched in despair as my lover rubbed his temples in frustration, staring blankly ahead of him. "You're not like a human." I felt a little taken aback by his words, but I concluded that he must have been referring about the fact that I was a Mew, and that I had placed my allegiance with the aliens._

"_Pai-san, what's done is done, and we can't change what has happened." He looked up at me again, the anger clear in his eyes._

"_Retasu, do you truly understand the severity of the situation?" He asked as I paused, furrowing my brow._

"_What do you mean?" I asked, puzzled. I knew that it would take a while for my wound to heal and that I would probably always have 'Mew Aqua' in my body, but I didn't understand what he meant. He sighed, resting his head in his hand again._

"_Either you won't ever be able to see out of your eye again or…" He looked up, staring vacantly at the door. I felt my throat tighten. "Or you will be able to see more things than you want to."_

"_Like what?"_

"_I can't tell you."_

_I slowly walked over to the bed, sitting down next to him. "Don't ever tell yourself that you're stupid, Pai-san." I said, feeling tears welling up as I saw the sorrow in his eyes. "You know so many things that I don't-"_

"_There_ are_ many things that I know that you don't." He growled, turning to face me. "And I hate it that I can't tell you."_

_I knew that it was stupid to ask 'like what?' so I didn't. I looked down at the cracked marble that I cradled in my hand, pondering Pai's words. Ever since the incident where the Mew Aqua had merged with me, it had become a clear marble, with the exception on the cat's eye in the center. _

"When does your bandage come of, Retasu?"

"I don't know. Probably in a couple weeks," I replied. "That's what the doctor said."

"I hope you get well soon, na no da!"

Minto simply shook her head at Purin, her hands on her hips. As the other Mews quickly struck up conversation with each other, I made my way past them, towards the changing room. Before I had the chance to open the door, a hand shot out from the hall, grabbing my wrist. I must have squeaked as Ryou pulled me into the hallway, pressing me into the wall. His blue eyes were serious as he looked down into mine.

"Are you okay, Retasu?"

I blushed, looking away as I self-consciously touched the bandage over my eye.

"I-I'm fine, Shirogane-san, just a small accident."

"Was it the aliens?"

I looked up in alarm to find him still staring at me intently.

"N-no… I-I…"

"There was a reading showing that they were at your house, but it vanished pretty quickly," He narrowed his eyes. "Did you see them?"

I widened my eye as much as I could, shaking my head in false fear.

"N-no…" I started shaking a bit. "Th-they were in my house?" He nodded gravely, curling his hand into a fist against the wall. I blushed as I realized how close his face was.

"Retasu, please be careful." He said softly as he gazed down at my neck. I silently prayed that Pai hadn't left a hickey. Suddenly, his hand was running along my neck, down to where my mew mark rested. I blushed furiously as I started to stutter. I was legitimately taken by surprise at his forwardness. And then, I realized that he was pulling the chain around my neck to expose the 'Mew Aqua' that sparkled in its small bottle. "You've been keeping this safe?" He asked softly as he ran a finger along the surface of the bottle.

"Yes…" I said as I gazed down at his fingers, comforted by the warmth of his skin against my own. "I would protect this with my life…"

Those blue eyes… staring at me…

"Retasu…" He said, gingerly holding my arms. "Will you go out with me?"

I nearly fainted.

"Shi-Shi-Shirog-gane-s-san!" I stuttered, my face beet red. "I-isn't th-that a little h-hasty?" His gaze never left me.

"I suppose, but lately…" He said as he pulled me closer. "I just can't stop thinking about you." He said in a whisper.

"L-let me think about it…" I said, looking at my feet. "This is a little sudden, and I'm not sure that I'm ready for that." When I looked back into his eyes, I saw irritation flicker across them.

"…okay."

* * *

"Welcome home."

I literally took a step backwards as I opened the door to my room, allowing a sweet smelling smoke to waft into my face. Pai lay on my bed, a tray with what appeared to be incense on it resting on his bare chest. His fingers made trails in the curling smoke that was rising to the ceiling. "How was work?" He asked as he turned to look at me with lidded eyes. I furrowed my brow.

"It was fine…" I said, shutting the door behind me. "Are you high?"

"I do not know what that means." He said as he removed the tray from his chest and set it on the bedside table. His violet eyes were still piercing through the smoky haze. As he rested his hands on his stomach, he continued to watch me. I set down my bag, swallowing hard. I blushed as I started to undo the buttons on my sweater. Pai raised an eyebrow at this. As I shed my sweater, I continued to remove my clothing until nothing remained but my bra and panties.

"Retasu…?" He muttered as he furrowed his brow in confusion. The air was cold against my skin, giving me Goosebumps.

"Pai-san, we've been together for a while… you know I'm yours and…" I took in a deep, shaky breath. "I'm yours."

Slowly, he swung his legs off of the bed and got to his feet. He stumbled once as he walked towards me, coming to a stop before me. "Retasu… are you sure…?"

"Pai-san, I love you. Yes."

"Are you really sure? I didn't pressure you too much or any-"

"I'm sure. Please… kiss me."

He suddenly looked very serious, his eyes dark with desire as he cupped my chin with his hand, lowering his lips to mine. His first kisses were soft, but as he continued, his intensity only deepened. I felt shy as his hands wandered to places he had been before, due to the fact that it just seemed… different. As I allowed my own hands to wander, I appreciated the feel of his cool, smooth skin. It felt like an eternity that I stood in his arms, his lips caressing mine. Suddenly, I was being lifted, carried over to my bed. The mattress puffed as first my weight, and then Pai's weight. Crouching over me, he reached for the front clasp of my bra.

"Last chance, Retasu." He growled as he held onto the clasp. "Any further, and I won't be able to stop myself." I blushed, running my finger along the top of his pants.

"I'm sure that I want this." As soon as the words escaped my lips, he undid the clasp.

* * *

I ached all over. But I was happy as I pressed myself further into his damp chest. Muscled arms held me there as Pai rested his chin on the top of my head. It was a comfortable silence as we lay there, naked bodies pressed against each other. I was somewhat surprised to find that the place where I could hear his heartbeat the best was on the right side of his chest. His breath was soft, slow, almost making me believe that he was sleeping. I smiled to myself. I had been fooled by that act before. I remembered random moments in time, ones where he spoke to me, and ones where he simply held me. I remembered times that he had kissed me; times where he had ran his fingers through my hair.

"_Will you go out with me?"_

I felt my happiness dissipate into nothing. I needed to tell Pai.

"Pai-san?"

Silence.

"Shirogane-san… he… he asked me to go out with him,"

More silence, but this time, I felt his arms stiffen around me.

"I… I don't want to… but everyone thinks that I have a crush on him… I don't know… I think that they'll be suspicious if I don't accept…"

"Why do they have to know that he asked you out?" He growled, pulling me closer.

"Pai-san, if it has to do with someone's personal life, they know it- of course, they don't know about you, but..."

We lay in silence for a while longer as I fought back tears.

"Don't sleep with him." He growled. "Don't let him do anything you that you don't want."

"Y-yes…"

"Retasu, you are mine. Remember that."

"Of course."

"We cannot endanger the mission. If you find it acceptable, than you must go out with him,"

"R-right…"

"If you find a good reason to break up with him, than do,"

"Yes."

"…I really care about you."

My eyes widened at this, and I tilted my head back to look at him. It felt as if my heart stopped when I saw the most beautifully subtle smile on his lips. Suddenly, he pressed me down into the bed, making a trail of kisses down to my breast. I blushed as he made a hickey on the inside of my breast.

"This is my mark, Retasu." He said as he ran his finger along the hickey. "And this one is theirs." He said as he touched my mew mark. "This Shirogane bastard can't go past his mark, and certainly not past mine." He looked down at me. "Understood?"

Speechless, I simply nodded as that subtle, angelic smile returned to his face. "I-I love you." I said softly as he simply ran his thumb along my cheek.

"Take care of yourself, Retasu."


	12. The Umbilical Cord

Chapter 11 - The Umbilical Cord

_Revised on 1/4/12._

* * *

Report number 23.

Hello. This is Kisshu. Unfortunately, our alliance with the Mew, Midorikawa Retasu, has not been very fruitful. So far, we have lost a 'Mew Aqua', due to the fact that it has merged with the Mew. In addition, Pai has become more and more distracted by his work with her. I'm beginning to be concerned that there is more going on between those two than he is going to admit to. He would probably make a remark about my adoration for Ichigo if I confronted him about it, but if something is happening, I don't like it.

On another note, our Chimeras seem to be less and less effective against the enemy. I really wish that we could just win this damn war so that my people could have a reasonable place to live…

* * *

(_Retasu's Point of View_)

As strange as it was, I enjoyed my relationship with Ryou, although not for the expected reasons. It was nice to have someone to go out on dates with; it came me something that I couldn't get from my relationship with Pai.

"That was a pretty good movie, huh?"

I nodded in response to his question, although I didn't know if the movie was actually that good or not. I only paid attention to it up to the point where Ryou took my hand and held it for the rest of the film, causing me to nearly have a nervous breakdown. Afterwards, we sat on a bench in the park, his hand still on mine. I blushed the whole time, mostly staring at my feet, glancing up at Ryou every now and then. I liked that soft smile that he wore when he leaned his head back against the bench; it was calming, peaceful.

"This is nice. I like being with you."

I looked up in surprise at his words, but I quickly returned my gaze to my feet. "Y-yes… it is nice," I said hesitantly, stealing small glances at him from the corner of my eye. He squeezed my hand at this, and then sat up, opening his eyes to look at me.

"I'm really glad that I have you as my girlfriend. As you know, I don't really have much of a family. Just Keiichirou, really," I don't know why, but I always felt nervous around Ryou – more so than with Pai. There was something odd about Ryou. I had always known him to be more harsh and judgmental, and I could never understand his sudden interest in me. And what made it worse was that I couldn't tell if he was serious or not. "I do hope that we can spend more time together, Retasu."

Of course, none of that prevented me from developing a crush on him.

I felt so comfortable resting on Pai's chest. Even if he made me nervous a lot, I found his presence to be comforting in an odd way, and although he never spoke out loud how he truly felt about me, he always found a way to show it through his actions. Ryou always felt like a stranger to me, but when I was with Pai, it was more like I was with an old friend. I let out a blissful sigh as I wrapped my arm around his waist. "I'm glad that you're here." The words tumbled out of my lips before I had time to think about what I had just said. I blushed, and Pai said nothing, but simply continued to stroke my hair. I knew that he was happy. I closed my eyes, running my hand along his smooth abdomen, listening to his heartbeat. I opened my eyes and gazed down at the sheets, admiring how they fell over his thighs. There were so many things about Pai that were peculiar to me: the fact that his heart was on the right side, his ears, his absence of a navel, his long limbs. And I loved every single part of him.

Although I didn't want to think about it at that moment, I couldn't stop my mind from wandering to the conversation that I had earlier with Ryou about his family. I had been curious about Pai's heritage –and why his anatomy was different from a human's and for what purpose - for a long time, but I had never really had the courage to ask him. Again, before I had a chance to think about it, the words carelessly fell from my lips. I instantly regretted it.

"Pai-san, what is your family like?" His whole body tensed at these words, and his hand stopped stroking my hair. I lifted my head to look at him, only to find him staring blankly at the ceiling. I could feel the fear steadily creeping into my immediate awareness. "Pai-san…?" Suddenly, he pulled away from me, peeling the sheets from his body as he sat on the edge of the bed. "Pai-san, what's wrong?" He wordlessly began to pull on his clothes, staring at the ground. I chewed my lip nervously as I sat up, one hand holding the sheet to my body, the other reaching for him. As my hand touched his shoulder, I repeated my question, not gaining any response. He didn't even bother to shrug my hand off to show that he was angry, he just acted as if I had ceased to exist. A sick feeling crept into my stomach, as well as an odd feeling of déjà vu.

As he stood up and walked towards the spot where he usually teleported from, I bolted up from the bed, grabbing his arm as he began to teleport. "Pai-san, wait! Stop!" As I felt the ground fall away from me, and then return again, I realized that I had teleported with him. I released his hand, swaying dizzily from the sudden teleportation before I realized that he was walking away. "Pai-san, please talk to me!" I pleaded as he walked through the maroon space with me running after him, not looking back at me. "I'm sorry; I didn't mean to upset you! I'll do whatever I need to fix it, just tell me what's wrong!" I grabbed his hand, and he stopped. After a moment of tense silence, he whipped around to face me as I simultaneously released his hand. He opened his mouth to speak, but snapped it shut into a deep frown as he looked behind me. Curious, I turned to look over my shoulder, only to have my heart leap into my throat. Kisshu was staring at us, his mouth agape. After another few moments of silence, Kisshu's mouth closed, and he narrowed his eyes into a glare as he looked at me. It was under his scrutinizing gaze that I realized that I was completely naked.

I moved to cover myself up, but that proved difficult with only my two arms. I started tearing up as I heard Pai start to walk away, and Kisshu made a move to follow him. I didn't miss the disapproving glare that Kisshu shot me as he walked past. I felt my knees tremble as tears started to roll down my cheeks. I shivered in the cold of the room, wondering how things had gone from perfect to horribly wrong so quickly. I nearly jumped out of my skin at Pai's voice coming from an arch that he had left the area from. "The medical bay is a few doors down that hall. You can find some robes in there." I silently nodded as I heard him walk away again, leaving me alone. I took a minute to attempt to collect myself before I started to walk down the hallway that Pai had indicated, my arms wrapped around my chest self-consciously.

I peered through various open doors before I found the medical bay on the right. As I walked into the bay, I couldn't help but stare at the mural on the vast ceiling. I had let out a gasp unknowingly as I saw it, for I had not expected something of such beauty and artistry in the medical bay. It looked like something that would be painted on the ceiling of a church. Pulling my gaze away from the ceiling, I turned my attention instead to a metal desk near the corner of the room. I walked over to it, noticing an open book on the cold surface. The symbols on the page were unfamiliar for the most part, but I did recognize the symbols that made my name. I smiled at this, for I knew that it must be Pai's journal. I scanned the page, counting how many times my name appeared. On that single page, I found it eleven times, and when I turned back a page, I noticed that the whole page was filled with my name. I blushed at this, smiling sadly as I thought of how he was currently angry at me for unknown reasons.

I was startled out of my quiet reverie at the sound of a piece of metal falling to the ground. I whipped around to see Taruto staring at me. As I turned, I noticed that his eyes immediately fell to my breasts, causing the both of us to blush. I dove behind the desk, peeking over the top to find that Taruto had courteously turned around. "I-I'm sorry!" He yelped, flinching as he realized what he said. "I-I mean I'm sorry that I had to see that! You're no looker." He spat, and although I knew he was just being childish, the words still hurt. "Oh, damn. I'm sorry, I didn't really mean that." He growled as he rubbed the back of his head, clearly conflicted as to what to say. I resisted the urge to giggle as he subtly glanced over his shoulder before looking forward.

"Um… Taruto-san…?" I began meekly, causing his ears to twitch slightly. "Do you… um… know where I might find some clothes?" He immediately stood up straight, his arms clenched to his sides. Poor, poor Taruto.

"Uh… yeah… just um… follow me I guess." He said as he began to walk towards the other end of the bay. After a moment, I moved out from behind the desk. He once again glanced over his shoulder, blushing as he looked forward again. Even the tips of his ears were red. I couldn't help but sneak a small smile. Once he reached the end of the bay, he opened the door to a small closet, reaching inside for a white robe. Without turning around, he held out the robe for me, which I happily took. I pulled the plain garment over my head, and I once again noticed Taruto staring at me when the garment no longer covered my eyes. "They look good." He muttered, and once he realized what he had said, corrected himself to "_it_ looks good. 'It' meaning the robe. Not your-"

"Yes, Taruto-san, I understand." I said, my voice shrill with embarrassment. We stood in awkward silence for a few moments before Taruto made a move to leave. "Please wait." I said, and Taruto stopped, raising an eyebrow. I suddenly realized that I had no idea what I wanted from Taruto. "Um… I ended up teleporting here with Pai, but he and Kisshu ran off, and I have no idea where they are." Taruto looked as if he were about to speak, so I quickly continued. "I don't think I should go find them though, because they looked like they were going to argue." Taruto snickered at this, much to my surprise.

"Yeah, they're probably fighting." He said with a smirk. "Kisshu doesn't like the fact that you two are sleeping together, so I imagine that he wasn't too happy to have you show up naked." I blushed at this, stammering. Taruto rolled his eyes at this. "Come _on_, Fishie. Considering the amount of time that he spends with you, and the way that you look at each other, it was pretty obvious. Kisshu was just in denial about it." I chose to say nothing at this point and simply stared at my feet, my cheeks red. I looked up at the ceiling, suddenly remembering the mural.

"Taruto-san?" He grunted in response. "Who painted this mural?"

"Kisshu did."

I stared at him. "Really?" He pointedly rolled his eyes at this.

"Yes. Really." I looked up at the mural again.

"It's beautiful."

"You want to get a closer look at it?"

"Can I?"

"Of course."

With that, Taruto walked behind me, wrapped his arms around me and lifted me into the air. I let out a yelp of surprise as we flew up to the mural. "T-Taruto-san! Y-you don't have to do that! I'm probably way too heavy…" Taruto kindly chose to say nothing and simply brought me eye to eye with one of the figures on the mural. It was a boy with long, flowing black hair and ornate face paint seated upon a throne. "Who is this?" I asked, pointing to the figure.

"That is Deep Blue." He said solemnly. "He is our deity. We must obey his every command." I looked at the figures surrounding Deep Blue, noting their various features. Although Kisshu still had room for improvement, he was certainly skilled. I looked at the figures at the feet of Deep Blue with a frown. They were twins with forest green hair and piercing gold eyes, and between them they held a basket of vegetables and wheat.

"Who are these figures?"

"That's Kisshu's self portrait, and the girl is his sister." I furrowed my brow and looked up at Taruto, who was clearly straining to hold my weight in the air. "He hasn't seen her for a very long time, so he has a huge gap in his life. She was put into the same lab as Pai, and he hasn't seen her since."

"Wait, what lab?"

Taruto's eyes widened nervously as he looked down at me. "Haha, did I say lab? That not what I meant… what I meant was-"

"Taruto, that's enough. Let Pai tell her himself." Both of us looked down to see Kisshu floating towards us. I blushed, looking away as Kisshu scrutinized me. Things were even more awkward then they were before now that not only had he found out about my relationship with Pai, but he had also seen me naked. Suddenly, I felt Kisshu's arms wrap around me, taking the burden of my body from Taruto. The younger of the two audibly sighed in relief as I was transferred to Kisshu's arms.

"I'm sorry." I whispered, although I wasn't sure about what in particular at that moment. In response, Kisshu's grip on me loosened for a moment, causing me to cry out and throw my arms around his neck. When I stared up into his face, he was smirking down at me.

"It's fine, Iruka-chan. No more secrets from now on though, okay?"

I felt a wave of relief wash over me at Kisshu's forgiveness, and I let a small smile form on my lips. I noticed that Kisshu glared at the mural before he looked back to me and started floating leisurely to the ground. When our feet were once again on the ground, I couldn't help but notice that he didn't let go immediately. I furrowed my brow at this, but I quickly replaced it with a smile as Kisshu pulled away. Suddenly, I realized that my hand was resting in his. "Retasu, I am sorry that I doubted you before. I suppose that I am jealous both of you and of Pai. It's wonderful that you love each other." He said with a sad smile. "I just wish that the one that I loved cared for me." I didn't know what to say, so I simply squeezed his hand.

"You should go. Pai is waiting for you."

I nodded. He knew that I knew my way to Pai's room, and that made me a little embarrassed, but I tried not to show it. On my way out, however, he grabbed my arm, pulling me around to face him again. He briefly looked panicked, but he quickly composed himself and smiled slightly. Wordlessly, he ran his fingers along the back of my ear, all the way down to my lobe. "Hurry along, Retasu."

As I made my way to Pai's room, I thought about Kisshu's parting action. I had thought that I knew what it meant, since Pai had done that to me several times, but now I wasn't so sure what the meaning was. As I lost myself in thought, I failed to notice how close I was to Pai's room until I was right outside his door. I stood there for a minute or so before I knocked. I received no response, so I slowly opened the door. The area where he slept was empty, but I saw smoke drifting from the small science lab that he had attached to his room. I slowly made my way to the room, stopping in the doorway to take in the sight before me. Pai lay naked on the dissection table, save for a white sheet draped over his lower half, once again staring at the smoke coming from the incense burning on the tray on his stomach. "It's strange, but I've always felt the most comfortable on an operating table." He said plainly, as if he were simply discussing the weather. I noticed his scars much more in the eerie light coming from the lamp overhead.

"Bianai. That is what Kisshu and Taruto are, as well as most of the inhabitants of our planet." He began, winding his fingers through the smoke. "The Bianai are superior creatures that once inhabited this planet. Many of the great 'mysteries' of this world have roots in the culture of the Bianai. Their technology was advanced, but they had to start from scratch when they moved to a new planet, and they were in even worse shape after the first generation died out. Eventually, the Bianai caught up to where they had been. They started experimenting as their technology got more advanced. They wanted to find a way for their species to be continued, even as more and more of the population turned out to be infertile. They started to try to 'grow' babies in tubes, and then when the time was right, they transferred the babies into the womb of the women who had been a major part of the 'conception' process."

Pai removed the tray from his abdomen and set it on an empty table. As he spoke, he absent-mindedly ran his fingers over where his navel would be. "Eventually, they found a way to grow the babies in the tubes until they had matured enough to be 'born'. However, catastrophe struck, as it always does. Once the Bianai found out about the human race, they were enraged, and they started to try to grow the perfect machines to wipe out the humans." I felt nauseous as he continued, for I understood what he was telling me. "Even I don't know how they did it, since the labs were all destroyed. All I know is that my number is 137, and there were 136 before me. I was the only successful one. I barely remember the others, but I know that I was the only one that actually seemed Bianai. All of the rest were horribly deformed, and they were eventually exterminated."

Finally, he turned to look at me, his eyes sad. "I was not made to express feeling or to have a mind of my own. I was made for the sole purpose of blindly obeying. I know that is hard for you, and I am sorry." He sat up, holding his hand out to me, and slowly I approached him, putting my hand in his. "And I am sorry that I treated you like that earlier. That was wrong of me. Perhaps it was my instincts kicking in, but I still shouldn't have done that." He said softly, staring sadly at me. I shook my head, smiling sadly.

"It's okay." I murmured as I wrapped my arms around Pai – who had swung his leg off the table at this point – burying my face in his shoulder. "It's okay, Pai-san." He wrapped his arms around me in a tight embrace before grabbing my shoulders and pushing me away slightly. I have no idea where the urge came from, but I ran my fingers along the backside of Pai's ear, repeating the gesture that both he and Kisshu had done to me. I immediately knew the meaning when he broke out into the sweetest smile I've ever seen.

_I love you._


End file.
